What are you attracted to?

Here’s what happened when I stopped trying to attract things TO me and instead WENT AFTER the things I wanted.

Before I started my own business I was working in a career that I was generally pretty happy with. There was a lot to love, and yet I found myself feeling the need for change. The problem was that I didn’t quite know what change meant, or where to start in order to make the change happen.

Now, many of us are familiar with the concept that if you put “it” out there — your dreams, goals, visions, etc. — you’ll attract it to you. But what happens when you aren’t totally clear on what the vision is? Or, when you find the vision, what happens when time passes by without any indication that you’re getting closer to making the change you desire?

I believe we can be the architects of the future we want, and that often means swapping a passive manifestation mindset for a more proactive approach. When I think back to the time I felt ready to do something new, I moved from uncertainty to a clear “yes” after taking an active role in the process, which looked something like this:

1. Do A Personal Audit

I decided to take a look at all the things I was doing day in and day out at work. As I took note of the tasks and actions, I also took note of the way that I felt while doing them:

• Was I engaged, excited, and energized?

• Was I resistant to the work or depleted from the task?

• Was it something I was good at but not all that interested in?

Often, people find themselves doing work that they find unfulfilling or frustrating, which conflicts with the fact that they may also be very good at it (despite the fact that they aren’t inspired by it).

Auditing each aspect of your job may sound tedious, but it’s a clear way to take stock of what energizes you. It also forces you to get honest about how much time you may be spending on things that do nothing for you (or drain you altogether).

Being able to ask these questions is a privilege, but I believe the most important work we can do is the kind that allows us to show up completely, do even better work, and have a greater impact.

2. Analyze Your Findings

After I did my self audit, I discovered that I was most energized and engaged when I was facilitating workshops for teams. I truly loved seeing teams that were frustrated and stuck find their way through the muck and come out with something that they were excited about creating. I learned that I loved designing the workshop process and agenda, and leading teams through the methods for days on end. And most of all, I loved seeing the breakthroughs and moments of clarity happen in the room.

It was during a conversation with my therapist at the time that I wondered out loud why I couldn’t do this kind of work exclusively. To which the reply was, “why can’t I?” I had a moment of fear and a pause because I’d spent the last 10 years working for other people. I wondered if I could truly shift to being an entrepreneur and employing myself. But again, I asked “why not?”

I love that saying, “if you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” Similarly, if you don’t try, you definitely won’t succeed. You might be protecting yourself from “failing,” but I’d argue that the bigger failure is to stay stuck somewhere that doesn’t feel right.

3. Make It Happen

This shift was a turning point for me, and it led me to look at ways to do MORE of the kind of work I knew I loved.

As a first step, I started honing the skills I needed to get really good at facilitating within the career I was in at the time. I began designing and running more co-creation workshops. I also read the SPRINT book and started running Design Sprints. I made it my mission to save enough funds for six months so I could go all in and really commit without splitting my time.

It has been nearly five years since that leap, and I continue to see the benefits of moving toward the things that move me. I am more energized, do better work, and have more capacity for work because what I’m doing fills me up.

It can be uncomfortable and scary and uncertain to take your leap, but so is the alternative.