Women: cultivate more confidence at work. Here’s how.
These 8 tips will help you find more self-assurance in your professional life.
Why aren’t more working women more confident? I ask this having recently had conversations with women in my professional circles who’ve shared that they just don’t have the confidence they wish they had.
This is a trend I’ve seen women entrepreneurs, consultants and even working professionals struggle with regularly. There’s something deeply challenging about knowing your worth and protecting your boundaries amidst a culture that has historically paid women less, removed them from settings where key decisions are being made, and held them to a different standard than male counterparts.
It’s no wonder that so many of the professionals I talk with — women who seem put together, smart and capable — still struggle to feel confident.
Having done quite a bit of work to cultivate my own confidence, I thought I’d share some of the practices that help me navigate my professional life with more self assurance. And by no means is this list exhaustive, or do I feel like Superwoman every day of the week. But the simple act of unlearning and recalibrating is essential to change the script around worth, self-appreciation and, of course, confidence.
1. Be willing to fail
Many people are getting more comfortable with the idea that failure is a learning experience, but as much as we talk about this it’s so hard to apply to our own personal and work lives. Failure will happen and it will likely be hard. This comes with the territory of being human. Just remember, if a project or outcome feels sucky, it doesn’t mean that YOU suck.
2. Don’t oversell yourself
Be clear about the value you can provide to clients or colleagues, and set expectations with them up front. I never sell or commit to things that I can’t deliver. That doesn’t mean you need to avoid pushing yourself — you can still do work that’s bold, big and brave while also staying true to your abilities.
My best advice for consultants and entrepreneurs struggling with this is to invest in positioning work. Clearly articulating your offerings, pricing, value and differentiators will help you manage expectations up front. I know it can be nebulous at times, but the clearer you can be about what you do, the easier it will be for your clients and prospects to understand the value you deliver (and what you’re worth!).
3. Trust yourself to do good work
If you have a track record of doing high-quality work time and time again, get into the habit of reminding yourself that you CAN deliver. There may be times when you need to ask for help or hire outside support to get the work done, and that’s okay too!
4. You know imposter syndrome is a thing, but you don’t let it run the show
This is a common one for women. Most of us are beyond qualified to do our jobs well, and yet we doubt that we’re worthy or good enough.
To counteract this, learn to discern between the nerves that mean you want to be great/do well, and the nerves that mean you’re doubting your abilities.
One task that helps me keep this in check is my facilitation-prep list. It includes the running to-dos that I need to tackle in order to prepare for a workshop. Checking items off the list helps me feel like I’ve done everything within my control to get organized, show up, and do well. Any additional nerves beyond that are usually related to excitement and eagerness (which is definitely normal, especially if you’re doing something new).
If you struggle with generalized anxiety (like so many do), it might be helpful to reframe your feelings. I’ve read about reinterpreting anxiety as excitement as a way to “Jedi mind trick” the nervous system. Trying this method may help you approach the work with more ease.
5. Don’t be afraid to have hard conversations
Address the issue — whether it’s in regard to scope creep on a client project, or a boss who’s piling too much work on your plate. Your work is valuable and one of the best ways to reinforce that is by protecting your boundaries. Be an advocate for yourself and your time!
6. Expect the unexpected — it’s part of the journey
Expect that things can and will go wrong at some point. I’ve been up against everything from technical difficulties and time constraints, to challenging workshop participants. At some point, you need to accept that it’s not up to you to keep things from going wrong. Instead, focus on what is within your control to help navigate the unexpected snags and detours.
7. De-center yourself
Have you ever felt pressure to have all the answers, or taken it really personally when things didn’t go exactly as planned? When I shifted from a performance mindset to a curiosity mindset, I started taking myself and my ego out of the equation, which alleviated a lot of that fear and pressure.
8. Let go of the idea that your worth depends on your work
Easier said than done, I know. But removing your value as a human from the value of your work product provides a lot of perspective. Personally, when I invest time in deepening my connection with community, loved ones and nature, it takes the pressure off of my job to make me feel full and worthy.
As women, we aren’t taught to pat ourselves on the back or celebrate our wins, and that goes hand-in-hand with feeling confident at our jobs. It’s time to retire this mode of thinking! I want all the strong, smart, capable women in my life to see themselves as I see them: truly powerful and worthy of every ounce of success.
My hope is that this list helps inspire confidence-building practices in your own life, and maybe even a little more freedom in how you think about and interact with work. Making these shifts has certainly done that for me!